Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
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