He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
