i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
