maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
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