I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
