Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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