Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
