and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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