OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
