WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
