friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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