3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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