I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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