Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
he fucked my hip out of place.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
