some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
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