when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
So drunk its hurt
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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