i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
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