Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
When are your genitals available?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
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