I hate all girls vehemently.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
