I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
