if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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