I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
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