better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Randomize
