thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
