Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
