If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
