I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
