yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
