She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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