I can tuck mytits in my pants
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
There's always time for handjobs
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Randomize
