He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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