my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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