We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
