just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
