Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
