What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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