It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
