Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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