i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
