I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
