You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
FUCK WHALES
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