I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
how drunk are you?
Several
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
