It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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