wanna go halves on a baby?
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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