Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I must be too annoying 4 u.
if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
