He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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