i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
