I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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