just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
