I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
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he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
