super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
