I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
