Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
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