we're blogging at a bar
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
