It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
