Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
soo... how was my night?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
