I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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