Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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