so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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