So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
